Normal service resumes…

15Mar07

Well, here we are again. It’s still a little slow at the moment, but it takes a while to get the old gears moving doesn’t it? A little bit of time, a little bit of oiling, a little bit of TLC and blue soup will be up and running properly. Normal service will resume.

Unlike the damned trains this morning.

Ok, so as you can see, I am starting to feel more comfortable with my blue soup hat on already.

There I was laying in bed this morning (incidentally, the use of the word “lay” when used as a verb without an object is restricted to producing eggs and so I have, like most English-speaking people, used this word incorrectly here. Of course, if you would like to imagine me in bed this morning popping out eggs, by all means go ahead. Knock yourself out. I bet you are doing it now aren’t you… you really are so transparent)… Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, (apart from imitating a hen), there I was lying in bed at 5am and the bloody foghorns were having a party on the water. I was sooooo tired and grumpy it was unimaginable (although there you go again, giving it a go at imagining it) and that really is saying something for me.

First there was just one foghorn, sounding off no more than 2 miles away, for I live very close to the sea. It seemed like its low drone went off at one minute intervals. And then it was joined by a second. They appeared to be having a foghorn conversation of some sort. Oh for fuck’s sake!! Why? It has been beautiful in the mornings lately, so why the need? Don’t they know what the bloody time is!? So, I suspect that most of the inhabitants of Little City (certainly those living in central town) were woken up early this morning. I am glad that I am not there today, it is probably full of irritable, sleep-deprived individuals, snapping at each other over the smallest thing. Much like me most days then really. And Little City ain’t big enough for the both, for all of us!

Anyway, I dragged myself up and flounced over to the curtains, flinging them open in a bid to dissipate some of the anger. And there was FOG.

Fog everywhere.

Well, at least that explains why all the bloody noise then.

But in this age of radar and what-have-you, foghorns are so a number of decades ago. Come on ship people, get with the times.

Anyway, because of the fog, naturally the trains were buggered. Naturally. What else! I mean, it isn’t like these lumbering beasts are attached to RAILS and therefore, as a result of actually being attached to rails they are free to roam all over and possibly get lost in the fog. No, no, those rails certainly don’t mean that these trains I speak of go in a particular direction, to a particular place, along a particular route, a route that never changes (apart from in a few weeks time when The Engineering Works come* and we will end up going all over the bloody country in our desperation to get to London)!

So, this morning the train limped into Waterloo some 20 minutes late. Not that I minded much at the time. I spent the journey plugged into my lap top watching Green Wing and half of Dylan Moran’s Monster stand up show. I will watch the second half on the return journey. I am rather looking forward to it. Like Eddie Izzard, I can watch Moran over and over and over and over and over (in Duracell mode, of course) again without tiring of the DVD. Indeed, The Sister and I can practically do our own versions of most of Eddie’s shows as we know them off by heart, having been well-educated by Dad from the ages of about 10 and 12.

I also wanted to reassure everyone that nothing much has changed with me. I still get mad with trains, commuters, tourists, MORONS, the Tube, cyclists, buses, small children, even smaller children, tall children, teenagers, old people, my coat, work, my colleagues, my friends, my family and other animals, the news, and so on and so forth. I also wanted to assure you all that our (for what’s mine is yours) beloved Commuter Friends are still there. They are still well, apart from the time when Sun Man was absent for a few days and returned to tell Lady with The Orange Bag that he had been in bed with a terrible cold. Winchy Commuter Boy still has curly hair, Winchester Arty Girl still wears those cool boots. Sun Man and Lady with The Orange Bag still flirt. Indeed, she was laughing at a joke he made this morning (while we were waiting for our delayed train) and she so enjoyed what he had said that, as she threw her head back to expose her neck (if a woman does this to you it is a Very Good Sign that she thinks you are a Bit Of A Dish and she wouldn’t mind perhaps Getting Horizontal with you), she reached out and touched the top of his arm. I love watching these two. I know that makes me sound creepy, but human interaction is one of the best things to while away time watching.

So they are all still there every day. I expect they are there on the days when I catch the earlier train, which I do a bit more often now, although not so often this past week.

And here is a photo:

Here you can see Sun Man and Lady with The Orange Bag. Although today she had a yellow bag instead. I hope that this will not be a permanent change. If it is, I will have to rename her. Again.

Coming up after the break, I also have some news about Sun Man. It is riveting stuff. I promise.

*(he he, that sounds like a film doesn’t it? The Invasion of The Engineering Works. Watch out! They are coming. Certificate 18. Strobe lighting is used in this production. Please wear your seatbelts).

Filed under: BS is a loser, Blogging, Commuter Friends, Commuting, Lady with the Blue Scarf/Orange Bag, Random, South West Trains, Sun Man, Transport, Weather, Winchester Arty Girl, Winchy Commuter Boy, rants   |  10 Comments