other things that have come to light

Last night, while staggering down the road, I called Beardy and left a long and drunken voicemail. I am hilarious. Then I called him again - although having just spoken to a recording, I am not sure what made me do this - and he answered and I whittered on at length about, well, nothing in particular.

And when I got in I set about doing that new alcohol-fuelled social crime: drunken facebooking. This is worse than drunken calling and drunken text messaging. Antics include writing “boobies” on El Presidento’s wall and sending GreenEyes some weird “hidden” X-me action that this morning makes absolutely no sense to me at all. Yeah, my maturity astounds even me.

Of course, it didn’t stop there. My phone sent items folder is littered with poorly typed texts to all manner of people.

The spot on my chin has erupted - as predicted - with spectacular results. It’s like a cross between Mount Etna and a strange tropical swamp.

In The Cafe this morning, more hilarity ensued. I absent-mindedly wandered in and didn’t really look at anything or think about anything as there was a queue. I was taking my headphones off when Mr M appeared out of nowhere (well, deeper inside The Cafe really) and shoved his beaming face in my face, which totally startled me and resulted in me letting out a really high-pitched squeal of fright. Cue muchos laughing from Mr TT and The Other Cafe Man and New Coffee Lady. New Coffee Lady smiled and wrinkled her nose at me in that “ahh, I am Italian Momma, you are cute little English chick” way. Hmmm.

And then, in the office, I managed to get toast on my head.

On. My. Head.

????

Yeah, I thought that too.

God, I am beautiful.