less than one hour in…

I am starting this with an “emergency” coffee. It is 10am. Already, I am miserable to be back. Shall we have a look at reasons why?

• The stupid business man with the FT on the tube this morning: If you really are going to insist on purchasing a broadsheet to read on a packed tube where there is NO space to do so, at least take a course in advanced newspaper reading. Don’t you know that it is terribly poor etiquette to shake your newspaper in the face of unsuspecting fellow passengers, especially when aforementioned paper actually smacks them in the nose. Cretin.
• Mountain of POINTLESS emails to plough through: Why don’t people actually read what they write before they press “send”? Then they wouldn’t need to send another email two seconds later correcting themselves, followed by a third just hours later explaining that they were mistaken all along and to ignore previous emails… ARGH!
• Events Lady being unable to wipe her own arse: In with the pile of crap mentioned on the previous bullet point was a chain of email correspondence between Events Lady and Legal Eagle #1. Legal Eagle #2 is leaving us very soon, and Events Lady took it upon herself to email Legal Eagle #1 to ask if anyone had sorted out a leaving card, to which Legal Eagle #1 replied in the negative. LE#1 then posed the question: “could you assist with this?” Events Lady then replies to this question by forwarding LE#1’s email to my inbox (and ccing LE#1 in) saying “Blue soup, can you draw up the [insert company name] leaving card. Thank you.” WHAT?! I mean, I’ve just had THREE days off through stress and exhaustion from pushing myself too hard after my operation. My backload of work just INCREASED as a direct result of lost days and she delegates EVEN MORE stuff to me. I love LE#2, she is lovely, but I really do NOT have time to be pissing about drawing up a leaving card on Indesign when I have a magazine that is already a month behind schedule to push through the bed process. And this “company leaving card” that she talks of is a template that I drew up myself in my own time as one of my favourite directors was leaving so I made a card myself rather than buying one. Company leaving card MY FUCKING ARSE!!! Plus, I don’t even have the base template any more as this director left months ago and I deleted the file, having no use for it. Also note how Events Lady was soooo keen to sort out this card for LE#2 but then delegated the entire task to me!! Since when has she been my boss? Um, since NEVER. Her arselicking the directors (LE#1) is a director here) has gone too far. I replied-to-all pointing out that I am a further 3 days behind and totally swamped so we had better buy a card in as there simply won’t be time to design and print one. SUCK ON THAT, FUCKFACE. As Events Girl said: “She couldn’t possibly do it herself. She’s only programmed to press ‘forward’.”
• Events Lady being a total shit stirrer: I mentioned this already on a previous post, but while I was away it came to light that “a formal complaint” had been made against MM. Nothing much was known about this, but it was leaked to staff that this complaint was made by someone from “the junior level team”. That means my level down to the general admin. That basically means the kids, us lot, the band that are actually pretty tight. MM thinks that she is better than us (well, she is a PA, so of course she is, WHATEVER). Anyway, in my absence it materialised that Events Lady told LE#2 that Sales Girl and I told her that MM had refered to her (LE#2) as “incompetent”. Excuse me?!? This conversation never happened!! Sales Girl had a quiet word with LE#2 to find out what had been said. Apparently we were in the pub one night (likely) with Events Lady (unlikely, perhaps a group work social thing, but not “with” Events Lady, we avoidher like the Black Death) and told her that MM had been whinging that she’s better than LE#2 and that LE#s is crap at her job. Glossing over the fact that this conversation never took place (we don’t socialise with Events Lady because she is a stupid, power-hungry bitch), who is she to go taking stuff outside of work and spouting it to HR? LE#2 and I have a meeting this morning whereby I will be on record saying that this allegation was never made, just as Sales Girl did last week. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Events Lady. Shit stirrer.

So, welcome back to work to me. And welcome back to usual ranting blog posts all you lovely readers. x