the burning pits of hell
Armpits, that is.
This morning I drove to the little market town of Blandford Forum from my mother’s house in deepest, darkest rural Dorset, having packed The Mechanic off to some Truckfest or something at Shepton Mallet for a day of drooling over, er, trucks. I don’t know how someone can find so much enjoyment from walking around looking at trucks but I don’t ask questions.
At Blandford, I parked the car in a residential road just up from the town centre and walked down to the Health & Beauty salon for my treatment. Whoever coined the phrase “pain is beauty” was spot on and, just minutes after entering the salon, I was brutally reminded why it is that I gave up on waxing in favour of shaving, as time consuming as it is and despite the short-lived results.
Popping two painkillers a short while beforehand did nothing to calm the pain. The fronts of my legs down, the therapist announced we’d do my armpits as I was lying on my back. A sharp whipping of wax from delicate underarm skin and roots from follicles drew out a loud yelp, and then she said “Oh my goodness! I have never seen anyone bleed as much as you before!” She looked quite alarmed and I felt compelled to reassure her that it happens every time. And so she continued with ripping out my hair and by the time she got one strip through my second pit I was actually crying and she was practically begging for forgiveness.
When it was over, she liberally smothered me in tea tree and looked down at my stricken face with real compassion and stroked my upper arm. On rolling on to my front so she could torture the behinds of my legs, we discovered that my vest top was drenched in sweat and stuck to me. She gently pulled it away and a rush of cold air ran down my back.
Had I not still been reeling from the armpit wax – comparable to being doused in petrol and set on fire – it would have been quite erotic.
I’ve recovered now, some six hours later. And I’m going back to shaving.
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ouch ouch ouch. I had mine done once and never did it again. Its the most painful thing ever. I think almost worse than giving birth.
And tea tree after, what was that woman thinking. How about some Aloe Vera.
I am glad you have recovered. I am sure your shock has not recovered. xx
OMG!!! I am so sorry you are injured and traumatized now.
That always happens to me, I forget how bad it hurt and do it all over again. MISTAKE. It’s a pain in the butt to shave all the time, but I can’t take not being able to put my arms down for a week straight bc they hurt so bad. I hope you are on the mend soon darling girl
How long does under-arm waxing last for, out of curiousity? Like… weeks? Or, better yet, months? Ugh!
See, this is why you should Veet
Wow. I’ve never heard of anyone bleeding from an armpit wax. I have mine done in the summer and although it’s uncomfortable, it’s not painful. I have other parts of my body waxed that hurts much more and always makes my eyes water.
Did your therapist get you to stretch the area? Mine gets me to kind of pull my boobs over to the side, to make the skin under my arms taut. This helps an enourmous amount.
Sorry you had such an awful experience though.
God if I was a girl I would go for the natural look – think 1970’s East German women shot-putters. My eyes are watering just from reading your experience.
You just need to get the Mechanic into pupic hair, it can’t be that far a step from drooling over trucks. Just think you could plat it, have Afro armpits the possibilities are endless….
P.S Loved the title
Seb – underarm waxing lasts a few weeks depending on the individual. As I am a yeti and have a lot of coarse hair (Gosh, I am selling myself here are’t i?!), it’s pretty shortlived, a week to two. But if I did it all the time, the hair would eventually give up and less and less would come back every time.
Blacklog – I haven’t got pubic hair! See comments on my earlier post, but I don’t have much public hair left, just a little “landing strip”
Sorry Soupy, my eyes were watering so much and I was not thinking straight. I was being lazy and using the term Pubic hair as a generic term for all non head growth….. So while my visions were for platted arm pit hair I would hate to think of any vision I may have left you with….
You should try laser treatment, honestly it’s the best move I ever made and I am now 90% hair free, no more shaving rashes or stubble scratchy grow in.
I had it done almost all over.
Hi honestwaffle, welcome to bluesoup. I have had laser treatment. I had my brazilian bikini line done with the laser a couple of years ago. The only thing that has put me off getting my armpits done now is that my budget is a little tight at the moment!
Thankyou!
Best thing to do is wait for the 50% off offers, a lot of salons do them. I paid about £250 for 6 treatments of the hollywood on my bikini line…in total I have spent about 2 grand now, and I’m pretty smooth, and even in between treatments, you shave but the hair takes a few weeks to grow back and there isn’t any itchy, catch on yer silk knickers regrowth!
Now I can go back to spending money on shoes and stuff!
I’ll maybe look into it after I move, but I’m one of those sensitive people with a really low pain threshold and I have always found waxing armpits worse than waxing bikini line (even the really delicate bits!) so I imagine that IPL will be worse under the arms than it was for the nether regions – and that made me cry almost every time. See here: http://bluesoup.wordpress.com/2006/11/26/fried-alive/
Fab post.
Usually I go straight after I’ve had my p. I find I can cope with the pain a lot better, and I also pop 2 painkillers just before…plus if it’s getting sore she turns down the energy level?
When I was getting the hollywood done, the further down she would go, I would ask her ‘how many zaps?’ so I could grit my teeth and count through the pain!
Weirdly though, I would find certain parts really painful…like the backs of my knees, or elbows, and base of armpit…hell some weeks I could’t feel a thing, and she would turn up the energy levels…you are meant to get a zing at least.
At least with laser you know the pain is woth it because it’s permanent..but waxing is bloody sore, and it comes back!
Plus when I show my smooth bits to my mates they get insanely jealous!
I just tried to wax my own pits and now they’re bleeding and it stings like hell lol dear lord i think i’ll stick to shaving now.