gone in an instant

06Jul09

I was just sitting here with my cup of fruit tea reaeding Mr Seb’s blog post about death and the afterlife when my boss called all of us in to a break out room. We have a meeting scheduled from 10 until 12 today anyway, but she said she needed to speak to us quickly and urgently. We all exchanged glances.

It’s very sad news. The sister of one of our colleagues was killed in a big car accident yesterday. She was just 18. Understandably, we haven’t heard from our colleague.

I really hope that there is an afterlife.


Filed under: Blogging   |  12 Comments

12 Responses to “gone in an instant”  

Feed for this Entry Trackback Address
  1. 1 Brennig on 6 July, 2009 said:

    Sad indeed. Death is a strange thing. The more I encounter it the more I’m curious about it. I have seen, truthfully, far too much of it. I hope your colleague is holding it together.

    Reply
  2. 2 Sebastian on 6 July, 2009 said:

    I think there is, though perhaps not in the sense that we might expect. But the universe is impossibly vast. I think there’s something else going on out there, which she might not be involved in :)

    Reply
  3. 3 gekkogirl on 6 July, 2009 said:

    Oh no :( sounds so sad. life is so short. I agree with Sebastian.

    Reply
  4. 4 Random Reflections on 6 July, 2009 said:

    How very sad. Sorry to hear that about your colleague.

    Reply
  5. 5 Jo on 6 July, 2009 said:

    Yowza, not good. What a horrible, horrible thing to happen. Your poor colleague. :(

    Afterlife? I’m not sure. Juries out on that one…

    Reply
  6. 6 Grump on 7 July, 2009 said:

    So sorry to hear that yet another young person has died in a car crash. It has affected so many families, ourselves included. When a parent looses a child, you never get over it.
    x

    Reply
  7. 7 hoverfrog on 10 July, 2009 said:

    There is no evidence for any kind of life after death. Instead of worrying about that there are practical things that can be done for those directly affected. Focus on how you can provide human-oriented comfort and support. No feelings are “bad” or “good,” they are just there. That included the desire to have someone around when that is no longer possible.

    Personally I view belief in an afterlife as a sticking point in the process of coming to terms with a loss. These are well known as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Afterlife is a denial of actual death or a way of bargaining with some kind of anthropomorphic death figure. It may provide comfort in the short term but it prevents you from reaching acceptance of death.

    Reply
  8. 8 blue soup on 10 July, 2009 said:

    Mr Frog – This isn’t really a post where I wanted to be having that debate. In fact, it isn’t a debate I am all that happy to have on this blog at all. I’m not a particularly religious person and I only think of a handful of times where I have ever discussed the topic on here (in fact, the one that springs to mind was about the LHC experiment which was a bit flippant).

    I have my ideas about the world and the way it works, what we are here for and what happens when we die, but I don’t tend to talk about any of it because it’s something that, as a rule, I like to keep to myself.

    I quite disagree on one thing though: I don’t think believing in the afterlife is a “sticking point in the process of coming to terms with a loss” at all. Regardless of whether or not one believes that death is not the end, a loss is felt. Believing in the afterlife similarly does not mean that a person doesn’t come to the fifth stage of acceptance in the grieving process. Just because you believe that people must also believe that there is nothing after the body shuts down, doesn’t mean that they have to as well. I don’t care what other people want to believe because that is their choice. I am not a preacher and I don’t stand around outside tube stations ranting on to the masses about sin and God but I have my private beliefs. I don’t think anyone should necessarily think the same as me on this.

    At the end of the day, I don’t think that belief in an afterlife actually causes anybody any harm so live and let live on the matter. While there is no proof that there is an afterlife, there is also nothing to say that there isn’t something more beyond the physical life. The universe is a vast and complex place and humans are learning more and more all the time. There will be things that we may never uncover but it doesn’t mean that they are not there.

    The fact remains that we exist and nobody has been able to explain that. Sure, The Big Bang, but where did that come from? There have been theories about this of course too, but at the end of the day, you can always take it one step back and say “but where did that come from and how did it come about?” By way of comparison, it’s like “think of the biggest number in the world!!” Whatever you come up with (x), you can always make it one bigger (x+1). Always.

    Bringing it back to life, death and faith, that is the sticking point for me. If it weren’t for this inability to determine where *life* came from (even in its most rudimentary form), perhaps I would be dismissive of any notion of faith (be it organised religion or my own sense of spirit), but that remains the big unanswered question for me and no amount of being told that I shouldn’t believe in some form of higher being or spiritualism will change my mind until that question can be answered.

    You don’t have to agree with me on this. I don’t care either way :)

    Reply
  9. 9 blue soup on 10 July, 2009 said:

    Of course, this debate is now open! :) For anyone to chip in to if they wish…. :)

    Reply
  11. 11 hoverfrog on 10 July, 2009 said:

    Sorry, I didn’t mean to be mean. I’ll debate religion with you until the cows come home if you want but I was actually trying to offer some practical advice on how to cope with someone in your office who has suffered a loss. You know, be supportive, let them work through their feelings, don’t judge them for believing differently than you do.

    I will respond to your longer post later. Right now I’m still at work and I’m fed up with being here. Do you really not care that I disagree because I can be vehement in my opposition of uncritical thinking, pseudo science and magical beliefs? I really do they they cause a great deal of harm and I have plenty of evidence to support my opinion. I’d hate to get into a slanging match though and am quite content to not offend.

    Reply
  12. 12 blue soup on 11 July, 2009 said:

    I wasn’t suggesting you were being mean and I don’t judge anyone for believing differently to me when it comes to subjects like this. Death and the human response to it is very much a matter for the individual.

    “Do you really not care that I disagree because I can be vehement in my opposition of uncritical thinking, pseudo science and magical beliefs?”

    I don’t care one iota that we share different opinions on this. I don’t want to enter into debate on it because I know from your blog where you stand on it and I have made it clear in my comments how I see it. I am not even interested in changing your mind because this is a debate that doesn’t do any good. My opinions on this do not impact upon other people, neither should yours. My opinions are not abhorrent, they do not disrespect any other individual, neither do yours. As a result there is no need to try and impress our own opinions on anyone else.

    I am very much “live and let live” on this. Happy to play debate, but this strikes me as argument for argument’s sake and I am not happy for this blog to host that. You may have noticed I don’t really get in to any of the big debates you have on your blog. They are interesting, yes, but I don’t want to invest in them because I am very clear on this in my head and it isn’t going to change.

    Reply

Leave a Reply